


Loneliness

by Krupka123



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And being a disaster, Aziraphale loves videogames, Crowley loves to sleep, Fluff, Living Together, M/M, Slow Burn, and baking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 12:13:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19790662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krupka123/pseuds/Krupka123
Summary: Such a simple emotions, but such a big problem to talk about them.





	Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> And another one. This one i enjoyed to write the most so far. Hope you will enjoy it too.
> 
> Thank you [Lisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa_Lisa) for beta!

After they helped stopping the Apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley felt something they never knew they could.  
Heaven and Hell was quiet, probably arguing about what to do now, and that alone would take them some time, so they were safe. For now. And who knows, maybe they would forget about them. 

Maybe.

But probably not.

The first day of the rest of the world they spend it together, eating and talking and laughing, but deep down, they felt lonely. That kind of loneliness you have when your parents, who you may not love but you need, left you, so they met the next day and the day after that, both of them looking for an excuse to spend those days together, not to be alone.

After three months, Aziraphale finally asked Crowley to move in with him. He had a nice and spacious flat above his bookshop, and he used only two rooms of it, his own and the kitchen, leaving the other three rooms empty.

Crowley was shocked, but at the end of the day said yes and the next day they started living together.

Crowley was curious what secrets Aziraphale kept there, given he never told him about that and never invited him in, but he respected the angel and his privacy, so he never tried to be nosy about it. 

But we are talking about Crowley, so, one day, he had to ask. He was burning with curiosity by now and it couldn’t hurt to ask, could it?

Crowley was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Aziraphale.

"Angel?"

"Yes, my dear?" Aziraphale was baking some cookies, wearing his white apron with a pair of golden wings painted at the front and an **'ANGELIC FOOD'** written under it.

"What are you hiding in your room?" the demon blurted out loud, unable to hold back anymore. He was ready to be yelled at or told that it was not his business, but Aziraphale’s reaction surprised him.

“You want to see?” the angel smiled, and looked at him lovingly. He was doing that lately (or more likely for a century), looking at Crowley like he was some kind of a precious book, and honestly, Crowley enjoyed it. 

“Yes.” 

“Just a minute, Crowley, dear.” Aziraphale took out the cookies from the oven and put them on the kitchen table, turning off the oven and taking off his apron, hanging it on the small peg near the fridge.

“Alright, hop we go.” 

Crowley followed him in that mysterious room, and when he walked in, he suppressed a smile. 

In it, there was a really large sofa with many pillows, and in the middle of the left wall there was a big LED TV, with four different consoles underneath it, all plugged in very neatly. There were no books, just a big cabinet with a lot of games and four different controllers.

“Angel. You never told me you are a gamer.” Crowley was happy and relieved for some reason, still trying not to smile.

“I am a what?” Aziraphale asked, looking innocently at Crowley, making the demon wanting to laugh very hard.

“I am sorry, it means you like to play videogames.”

“Oh yes, I find it quite amusing.” the angel smiled, and Crowley felt weak all of a sudden. That was another thing. He always knew that Aziraphale means a lot to him, mainly because they knew each other for more than six thousand years now, plus they were best friends, but only lately (for a century) he felt something he was afraid to name. 

But it was not the time to think about his feelings.

"Are you playing videogames?" the demon shook his head negatively.

"Well, I had a phase when I played Snake on my mobile phone, Nokia 3310, I think it was. Not really a videogame though. But I would love to see you play." 

They sat on the sofa and spend the next nine hours playing and talking about it. Aziraphale showed Crowley his most favourite games, Child of Light, Life is Strange, Last of Us, Stardew Valley and Sims, which was exactly what the demon expected the angel would like after being told what it was about, but he was also introduced to Bloodborne, Outlast, Skyrim, Dragon Age, Mass Effect and many more, which was surprising. 

Aziraphale talked about those games with the same passion as he talked about books, and it was so refreshing. 

"You are really into it." Crowley was laying on the sofa, the pillows around him like a fortress, being very comfortable at the moment. 

"Well, yes, like I said before, I find it very amusing, and calming." Aziraphale stretched his legs and embed himself into the sofa. Crowley said nothing, and when he looked at him, the demon was sleeping. Aziraphale smiled, turned off the console and the TV, put a blanket on Crowley and walked away, silently closing the door behind him. 

He put some cookies on the plates, one for him and one for his friend, and walked out of the flat, down into the bookshop.

…

Aziraphale sat down on his chair and slowly ate his cookies. He was thinking. 

It was six months since they lived together, and he felt happy. He was not feeling lonely anymore. But the truth was, he never felt lonely with Crowley. The demon always made him smile, made him cheery, more open. Whenever he saw him, he felt...something. Something that only Crowley could wake up in him. 

He knew what that feeling was. He came in peace with it and accepted it. Aziraphale also knew that Crowley feels the same. He could sense that, as a creature full of love. But he would never pushed him to say it or do something with it. He knew Crowley hates emotions, even thought he was full of them. And it was enough for him that they lived together now. That he was having him so close. It was more that he could wish for, and he felt blessed. 

Aziraphale finished the last cookie and opened a book he was given by Crowley long time ago.

_Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austin.

…

Crowley woke up and looked around. He was alone, and judging by the darkness outside, it was already evening. 

He stood up and walked into the kitchen, but there was no one there. Only a small piece of paper. He took it and read it.

_My dear Crowley,_

_I didn't want to wake you up, so I am leaving this note here. I am going to visit a book festival, I will be gone for three days. I also took care of your plants, so do not worry. If you're reading this, you slept for a month and a week now. I left you some cookies in the freezer, hope they will be fine still._

_See you soon,_

_Yours_

_Aziraphale_

Crowley stared at the note, one word slowly burning into his brain.

_Yours._ **Yours. YOURS.**

_Am I still dreaming?_

He was not. 

Aziraphale never, ever in his life referred himself as someone’s. And he left many notes to Crowley before. It was such a small thing, really just a simple word, but it still shook by his entire world.

He did what he thought was best.

Laid down in his bed and fall asleep.

…

When he woke up again, he felt refreshed and more grounded. It was raining and he smelled something tasty from the kitchen, so he slowly entered it and sat down, watching Aziraphale baking a meat pie.

Crowley's most favourite food.

"It was time to wake you up." the angel said, not looking at him.

"How long?" 

"Four months." Crowley smiled apologetically. 

"Sorry, angel." 

"It's quite alright." Aziraphale finally looked at him and smiled warmly, making Crowley feel emotions he didn't want to feel right now.

"It's finished. Want a piece?"

"Yes, please."

A really juicy looking piece of a pie was put in front of him, so he get into it, and enjoyed every bite.

"That is amazing. You could get married." he said without thinking, immediately regretting it. Crowley was embarrassed and afraid to look at Aziraphale, but he did anyway. The angel smiled mysteriously.

"If only there was someone who would marry me." 

Crowley choked on the pie, coughing and hitting himself into his chest. Aziraphale gave him a glass of water and the demon drank it all.

"Better, dear?" Crowley just nodded, unable to say anything right now. 

_WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!_

Crowley's mind was full of questions. 

Truth was, unlike Aziraphale, Crowley couldn't feel others’ emotions He wasn't capable of it. So he didn't know what Aziraphale felt towards him. And if he had any idea, he pushed it very, very far away from him. 

Crowley finished his pie in silence and vanished quickly with a silent excuse, leaving Aziraphale alone.

"Probably I shouldn't have said that." the angel felt angry at himself and locked himself in his room, hoping that playing his favourite games would help him focus and find some good apology for Crowley.

…

"Why would he say something like that?" Crowley was sitting in his plant room, talking to them as usual. He noticed that they were less scared of him, probably Aziraphale's doing, but that could be fixed later, now he needed to talk.

"With such a face. 'If only there was someone who would marry me.' Someone. Did he meant me? I mean, I do like him, a lot. Maybe even...gah!" Crowley jumped up from his seat, hands in his hair, squeezing them with confusion and uneasiness. 

"Why, Aziraphale? Why?! You are making me feel emotions so warm! I didn't ask for this! All I ever wanted was a friend! And then you came into my life! And flipped it upside down! Stupid angel, making me love him!" 

Crowley froze.

One hand slowly touching his lips. His eyes widen.

"Making me... _love him_ …" he whispered, a smile appearing on his face, and then, he started laughing. It was the happiest laugh he ever had in his life. And the longest.

The plants started to shake in fear.

…

They both stormed from their rooms and almost run into each other.

"Crowley, I wanted to apologize, I said something-"

"Angel, I know what you meant to say and I-"

They both stopped, looking at each other. Then a small laugh slipped from their lips.

"You first." said the angel, smiling warmly.

"Alright, thank you." Crowley took a deep breath and looked into the angels' eyes.

"Aziraphale, I know what you wanted to say. Truth to be told, I...I am a coward. No, please, don't say a word. I am the biggest coward ever. Because I knew, I knew and I pushed it away. You see, I was scared, scared that I could hurt you, scared you will be overwhelmed by me, scared that you will change your mind, but I am not scared anymore." 

Aziraphale was looking at him and a single tear escaped his eye.

"What do you mean?" the angel whispered so quietly that only Crowley could hear it. The demon took a small step, now standing right in front of Aziraphale, and took his face into his hands.

"It means I love you, angel. You are the sun, you are the centre of my universe and I am your humble servant who will always turn around you with a hope that you will warm me up, that your attention is solemnly mine. And now, please stop making me saying more sweet words, becau-" 

A kiss. 

There are many kisses you could give in your life. A kiss to your child, sweet and funny. A kiss to your lover, passionate and needy. A kiss to your grandparents, forced and unwelcome. A kiss to somebody you say farewell to, sad and lonely.

This kiss, however, was different.

Imagine six thousand years of life spent knowing one person. Imagine slowly developing feelings towards that person. That friendly feelings slowly changing into so much more. 

Imagine standing in front of that person and being told he loves you too. That he is not afraid of that simple emotion, that he is ready to love and be loved.

That all being contained in one kiss. All those centuries, all those sleepless nights, all those refused emotions only to accept them one day. 

It was overwhelming. It was unbearable. 

But when their lips touched, it felt like a huge stone was finally removed from the road and they could continue walking again.

Together.

The kiss alone was quick and soft, but for them, it meant everything in that moment.

Crowley smiled, holding Aziraphale's hands in his now.

"So...I guess it means we will sleep in the same bed from now on?" Aziraphale giggled.

"I guess so." 

Their foreheads touched and they both closed their eyes.

"Wanna go right now? I could use a nap."

"You slept for the last four months, Crowley!"

"Yeah, well, I am one tired demon."

"...okay. Let's go."

…

"Aziraphale, you look good, don't be shy, come on, step out of that car!"

"Are you sure, dear?"

"Of course, for hell's sake! Now come on!" 

So the angel did what he was told, his boots jiggle a little.

He was in his first cosplay ever, as a character named Arthur Morgan from the Red Dead Redemption 2 game. He looked great: blue shirt with a brown scarf around his neck, brown trousers holding on thin braces, a belt with a gun case and a satchel and a large black cowboy hat.

"I feel a little off." the angel said, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Angel, you look amazing. In fact, I would totally ban-" a kiss shouted Crowley's mouth.

"Be quiet, my love." Aziraphale whispered, smiling, and making Crowley to follow him, hand in hand.

They were at their first Comic Con in London. Crowley surprised Aziraphale by buying two tickets for them. So the angel decided to dress for that occasion.

It was one of the best weekends in his life.

With Crowley by his side, he knew that from now on, the life could be hard and challenging, but he was not alone on any of it now. And stopped feeling like it too.

Crowley smiled. Like he did lately whenever Aziraphale was near him.

How did Freddie’s song go?

Oh, yes.

_'Nothing can stop me now.'_


End file.
